Star Thugs

We'd love to tell you that there are five great empires struggling for control of the galaxy. The truth is that the most powerful faction in the galaxy is the Self-Gratification Consortium.

We'd love to tell you that the universe is controlled by powerful psionicist-priests who are empowered to execute heretics on their very whim. The truth is that the only psionic priests are the Streakites, and frankly, they wouldn't know heresy if it married their sister.

We'd love to tell you that the galaxy teeters on the razor's edge of a political battle that promises to shake the stars to their very core. The truth is that most politicians get as much respect as jock itch.

We'd love to tell you that smugglers rake in cash by smuggling spice through house-controlled space. The truth is that most of them merely smuggle Uberclesian Barbecued Ribs into church.

We'd love to tell you that a seemingly invincible race of organic terrors is threatening to consume the galaxy. The truth is that they're better described as "gigantic face-eating alien cockroaches."

We'd love to tell you that Earth has made contact with alien races and now seeks to carve out a place for itself in a hostile universe. The truth is that we know better.

We'd love to tell you that this is the science-fiction universe you know and love. The truth is that this is Star Thugs.

Welcome to a dangerously jaded galaxy filled with bold adventure and relentless cynicism. You are a starship captain, hellbent on protecting the weak and pitiful from the predators of space, or achieving galactic domination in the name of the almighty GhazPORK, or maybe just virus-bombing a call center for personal reasons. Opposing you in this glorious quest are delinquent teenage pirates, insane space-droids, pompous authority figures, and the ever-encroaching madness of living in modern society.

Why would anyone choose a life of combat, uncertainty and risk in a world filled with dangers rather than the sane, sensible life of a cubicle-dwelling surface yuppy?

Because sanity is for the weak.

Star Thugs is a unique science fiction game universe with a streamlined and highly strategic combat system. It was designed so that each player can command an entire starship and crew without bogging the game down and emphasizes tactical decision making over dice rolls. Unique "Maneuvers" allow players to give their crew unique capabilities and the special "Mook" rules keep NPC enemies simple and quick. The game includes battle-tested rules for conducting combat through E-mail that doesn't require ten thousand messages, doesn't bog down when one player in the battle stops posting, and doesn't require piles of work by the GM. (In fact, PvP combat doesn't even require a GM be present.)

122 pages of vaguely deviant science fiction, rules, background material and unjustified sarcasm. Each player gets their own starship and crew--no kowtowing to the "Party Leader" this time. If he starts giving you lip, you can shove a missile up his starship's closest equivalent of a rectum.

Nifty maneuvers and crew abilities that let you crush your enemies in delightfully unfair ways. Action-based game system that eliminates the need for jillions of stats and dice, letting you get on with the important business of hurting people.

Written rules for "PC Glow."

Take part in professions like trader, mercenary, bounty hunter, pirate, or military officer, all of them just a slightly different excuse to shoot stuff.

A highly customizable universe--take it in whatever direction you want, from a dark space opera to a vaguely ridiculous holy war against people who use the word "Clandestine." Based on the dangerously popular Maggott Show.

Rules for running games via e-mail, complete with combat that doesn't suck.