Poly Set Moose Poop (10)

We finally managed the ultimate challenge, we’ve successfully figured out how to polish a turd. But not just any turd will do as we have a reputation for only working with the highest quality exotic materials on earth. So we put our crack team of minions on the task of finding the best poo around.

They traveled the world over sampling poos from a variety of sources for texture, density, aroma, firmness, and visual appeal. After months of exhaustive research we’ve discovered that the finest poos in the world come from the Arctic loving Swedish Moose.

Why is the Swedish Moose’s poo so highly prized among all other poos? It turns out that it’s second to none for a variety of reasons, though coffee aficionados will of course make the argument for the notably fine poo of the Asian Palm Civet owing to its use in the covetous Kopi luwak coffee that sells for upwards of $350 per pound! But the Moose’s preference for the Arctic and near arctic biomes gives its poo some very attractive qualities that allow it to just edge out the Palm Civet for first place.

Those long winter months leave the Swedish Moose foraging on woody stems and boughs as opposed to the wet lush vegetation of spring and summer. This transforms the moose’s summer time poos from the overly moist and some what mushy consistency that is often confused for bear scat, into the glorious dry pellets we need to craft our epic dice.

These pellets consisting mostly indigestible woody cellulose plant material that, once dried, have a pleasant earthy aroma. You’ll find these top quality poo pellets used for incense, as they bring the wonderfully woody scents of the outdoors in to your home.

Upon arrival, we bake the dried moose nuggets in order drive out the last of the moisture and prepare the for stabilization. Then the stabilized poop is cast into resin blanks similar to our Gator Jawbone dice. From there they are ready to be machined and polished into the finest poo dice the world has ever seen, making them the perfect gift for that special gamer on your sh!t list.